Unusual dates

Scenic Hawaii.

Have you ever had a date that was so unusual you have never forgotten it?  Well, three stand out in my mind.

A University of Hawaii East-West Center grantee from a foreign country hired me to do some library research for him.  After I’d spent four hours at the library and then handed him the results, he asked me out to dinner at, of all places, McCully Chop Suey.  It was nothing fancy, that’s for sure, but I happily perused the menu.  When the waitress came to take our order, the grantee immediately said we would have ONE plate lunch and two forks.  The waitress shot me a condescending look, and I nearly died of embarrassment.  Talk about chintzy!  When we finished dinner, we drove to his friend’s apartment.  His friend was also a grantee and married to a young woman.  Saying nothing, I listened to them chat for what seemed an eternity.  The grantee then took me home and made a confession:  He didn’t really need an employee; he wanted a girlfriend – that is, me.  Needless to say, after that lousy dinner, I turned him down.  But, yes, he later sent me a $16 check for my efforts in the library – after I called to remind him.

Another unusual date began on the bus.  A guy in his late twenties sat next to me and struck up a conversation.  He was engaging enough so when he asked for my phone number, I gave it to him.  I got off the bus near my home.  He later called and asked me to an outdoor concert.  The catch was he didn’t own a car.  He told me to take the 5:30 pm bus at my stop in Manoa, and he would board it at his stop near the University.  Sure enough, we rendezvoused on the bus.  He was carrying a bottle of wine, wrapped in a towel.  We got off, listened to the concert, and returned home the same way – he to the University and I to Manoa.  That was our first and last date, because we just didn’t click.

Finally, I must tell you about the local man, who proposed to me by mail while a student on the mainland.  He wrote:  “I have thought it over and have concluded that you should become my wife.  Please call me collect with your answer.”  Yes, we’d gone to dinners and the movies in the past, but what a horrible, unromantic way to propose marriage!  I decided not to call him.  Instead, I wrote back that he had not mentioned the word “love” in his letter and, therefore, I was declining his proposal, wishing him all the best.

You probably have your own memories of bad or unusual dates, but these are the ones I’ll never forget.  I thank God for David, who always ordered two dinners for us at elegant restaurants, who owned a car, and who swiftly bought me a diamond ring the day after we decided to get married.  Life has been sweet for both of us.

29 Responses to “Unusual dates”

  1. Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife Says:

    Great stories! I don’t have any date stories. I met the Hub when I was 18 and that was that!

  2. Christine Says:

    I have to think way back for date stories, yours are great!

  3. DJan Says:

    Those are definitely memorable dates. I can’t think of any right now, but I sure enjoyed yours!

  4. Suzanne Says:

    Congrats on a wonderful husband. I had a few that were nightmares. One guy never stopped talking and my eyes were glazing. I had to make a game of it and timed him at one point. He talked 45-minutes without me uttering a sound. At one point, I looked out a window and he said “excuse me, I am over here”. Never said yes to a second date with that one.

  5. hattie Says:

    My favorite is the date who picked up the restaurant tab and said, “Your share will be…”

  6. anonymous Says:

    My most unusual date invite was a call I received on the phone one evening during my freshman year at UH. He asked me out but I didn’t know who he was, never spoke to him. He said he was in my religion class at UH sitting in the row behind me. He was from the Big Island, etc. At the end of the conversation, I asked how he got my phone number and he said he knows someone working at the registrar’s office at Bachman Hall. That spooked me. After that going to class was a bit uncomfortable, I could guess who he was just by the uncomfortable look in his face as I sat down in the row in front of him. I didn’t want to change seats either because I sat next to a friend from elementary school days.

    L. from W.

    • gigihawaii Says:

      Hey, that’s invasion of privacy. You should have complained to admin about some person in the registrar’s office giving out personal info. Dangerous, too.

      • anonymous Says:

        Yup, today that would be sooo wrong. But back then, I don’t think we all thought much about privacy issues. Though that didn’t feel good the minute he said it. After that the conversation went downhill. I thought about why he didn’t just ask after class. He was probably very lonely and thought his best chances were to ask on the phone after we talked a bit.

        L. from W.

  7. naquillity (@naquillity) Says:

    i had a guy ask me out on a second date once and not show. sometime later (about a month, i think) he calls me up and tries to explain why he didn’t pick me up. he said his back was hurting him really bad (he’d had an injury at his workplace) and he couldn’t move. he also added he couldn’t call because he’d been depressed. i believed him but i then told him i knew the ‘real’ reason he didn’t call or come by. i proceeded to tell him i already knew he wasn’t going to go out with me again because a coworker had told me that’s what he and his friend (another coworker of mine) did for kicks. my coworker would set up a date with him and he’d take the girl out the first time but not the second. i later told him in the phone call i wasn’t going out with him in order to marry him. i was just going out to get out of the house and have a good time. if this was the way he treated women then he was going to be a very sad man. he never spoke to me again… i’ve often wondered if he did this to other women after that phone call though. i’ll never know, i guess. have a great day~

  8. SchmidleysScribbling Says:

    My friend Loretta of Portuguese descent, was born and raised in Hawaii, and had similar experiences with some of the men.

    Her first husband was Chinese descent and she said he wanted her to walk 10 paces behind him. I think she meant this figuratively, not literally, but I knew what she meant.

    Some of the men from non-western background can be very obnoxious when it comes to women.
    I see you ended up with very Westernized David….good choice. Dianne

    • gigihawaii Says:

      It takes all kinds. Lol. In high school, I dated local Asian men, but in college I dated Caucasians from the mainland. There are good and bad men wherever you are, and you can’t really say that Westernized men are best, because they often are not. My ex-boyfriend, who fathered my older daughter, was someone who lacked integrity. He was a Caucasian doctor, who abandoned me when I got pregnant.

  9. Henry Hank Chapin Says:

    I’m interested in your last comment about David. Frankly, I’ve never understood how a man could buy a ring in advance, get down on bended knee, and not know whether the lady would accept. It seems to me through good dates (not bizarre ones as you recount) and many conversations about life and love–and marriage–both individuals would be sure they wanted to get married.

  10. joared Says:

    I recall accepting a date with a guy from out of town who was a friend of an old girlfriend pal of mine’s much older boyfriend/former boss (who I never met.) She lived in a town where I previously resided, her boyfriend now lived elsewhere and this guy calling me from an even different town. I had never met this guy who called me but decided on the basis of these connections I’d go out with him when he came to town, though I had reservations because I knew too much about the nature of my friend’s relationship with her old boss who I thought was just using her whenever he came to her town on business (later proved to be true.)

    I was working at a TV station and at that particular time state high school basketball championships were to be played in the days ahead — an impossible ticket to obtain. I quickly learned when we went out to dinner this guy I dated wanted me to contact our sports broadcaster to get him tickets to attend the final playoff games.(Impossible!) I didn’t hold it against him that he asked.

    We hadn’t begun to get to know each other during the short time of our dinner which had included less than interesting conversation from my perspective. I certainly hadn’t felt any sort of emotional connection with him nor did I get the impression he had with me either. Without any discussion about what we might do the rest of the evening, he headed for a liquor store when we left the restaurant, then drove back to my apt. with the brown paper bagged bottle he had purchased. There were many things we could have done without spending a penny if cash was an issue for him, but I don’t think money was an object ’cause he was older and established professionally. Apparently, we were supposed to spend the rest of the evening drinking. I just thought he was terribly presumptuous, or thought I was naive, and his behaviors suggested he had unspoken ideas of how the evening would proceed which did not agree in any way shape and form with my preferences. I know he was quite surprised once we reached my door when I thanked him for the evening, did not invite him in, and quickly closed the door behind me. I declined another date when he called again.

    Gigi, I managed to correct my WordPress email address in years past, but recently they’ve started messing it up again — first putting a “q” before my actual email address, but that seemed to allow me to continue posting at other WordPress blogs but probably wouldn’t allow an email to come through to me. Now, as with your blog, WordPress has added “uentlyq” at the beginning of my email address. I attempted to change it after your comment, but WordPress won’t let me. You and any others can always email me at the address noted on my blog: joaredalongtheway@gmail.com. (the email address I list on blogs and WordPress is another active but shortened version of that email address, works everywhere else and used to work at WordPress — very annoying to me — but I’m tired of the WordPress complications.)

  11. Arkansas Patti Says:

    Loved those stories though I actually thought the bus date rather romantic and hollywood’ish. Think you did quite well waiting for David. You two seem just right.

  12. Denise Says:

    I went on a blind date as a favor to a friend. The first time there were four of us and when my date asked me out again I said yes. He took me to the fanciest restaurant in town but the one thing I remember is how he bawled out the waiter for serving him first and not me. II felt so bad for him as my date was so nasty to the poor guy who was obviously new and trying his best. When I was asked for a third date I refused. He sent me a huge bouquet of roses but he had already showed me what a louse he was and I certainly wasn’t going to get involved with a man who had that kind of temper. I agree with Arkansas Patti, you and David make a great couple.

  13. cloudia Says:

    SUCH a memory you are mistress of, GiGi!

    Have a fine Weekend!

    Aloha from Waikiki
    Comfort Spiral
    >

  14. musings Says:

    It was the first week of our move to Illinois. We were staying at a friend’s apartment before finding our own place. Art and his friend were at work and I decided to take a walk to the market in Chicago. On the way home I heard someone behind me. Out of the corner of my eye, I sensed he was following me. Every street I turned down, he followed. My heart was in my throat and I didn’t know whether I should scream or pound on someone’s door. Suddenly the fellow jogged over to me and before I could do anything, said, “Would you go on a date with me?” I was so startled I could barely hold up my wedding ring to say I was already married. No, it wasn’t a date, but something I remember.

  15. Beatrice Says:

    What a lovely post •♔♥
    Beatrice from Germany

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