Coping with stress

Baby Shark and Convict Tang in Ala Wai Harbor.  Photo by Ted Trimmer.

As you know, I live with my husband and younger daughter.  When they are in distress, it affects me.  My own life is presently on an even keel, but because of what they are going through (separately), I have a hard time feeling happy.  I am not at liberty to explain what is happening to them.  Suffice it to say they are stressed out.

Someone said that without war and misery, we would not appreciate peace and happiness.  Maybe so.  We tend not to appreciate what we have until it is gone.  In the grand scheme of things, though, the bad stuff is so miniscule.  What’s the worst that could happen?  That you could get sick and die, right?  Well, David and Lisa are in excellent health.  Somehow, I know that they will bounce back and that everything will be better for them. 

I hope YOUR lives are worry-free.  Please send some positive vibes my way!  How do you cope with stress?

Hurrah for dentists!

My bad cold is now a distant memory.  It’s been only nine days, but the medicines for sinus infection, nasal congestion, and cough have knocked it out completely.  Hard to believe I suffered so much. 

I saw my dentist yesterday and “joyfully” had three teeth drilled and filled.  Kavita, why did you become a dental surgeon?  It isn’t the most pleasant job in the world.  I guess the money is good, because my uncle had a successful dental practice in California, and my cousin has his in New Mexico.  Someone’s got to do it!

Speaking of dentists, David is still having his mouth reconstructed.  March will mark his third year.  Because his teeth were so worn due to grinding, he had to have ALL of his teeth shaved and crowned – to the tune of close to $24,000.  Extremely expensive.  So expensive we had to take out a home equity loan.  His molars are finished; now his front teeth will be crowned.  Agonizingly slow process!  But he does look better, thanks to his excellent dentist, who makes the crowns in-house himself.  The alternative, by the way, was to have his teeth extracted and wear dentures, something he wanted to avoid.

I, too, have had trouble with my teeth:  Braces for my protruding teeth when I was a teenager, and a dental implant to replace a back molar. 

Dentistry has come a long way since those days when yanking out teeth was the norm!  Let’s hear it for dentists:  Hurrah!

Feeling sorry for him

Recently, a friend had to follow his boss’ orders and fire someone.  It wasn’t pleasant.  The employee looked stricken by the words, “It’s not working out.  We have to let you go.”  He had been on the job for slightly longer than a year.

“Let me speak to the boss,” the employee replied.  However, the boss had left the premises, so the employee was forced out.

Later, the boss asked my friend, “How did it feel to fire somebody?”

“I felt sorry for him,” my friend said.

“What?!  You felt sorry to let him go?  He was incompetent!  How come you felt sorry to let him go?”

“No!  I said I felt sorry for him.”

The conversation continued with the boss yelling at my friend.  I might add that the boss is from Japan and English is not his forte.

It was fitting to fire the employee, because he was inexperienced, did not take initiative, and was simply incompetent, as the boss said.  However, the boss had wooed him from his previous tenured job with a much higher salary.  Now, he had no job and no prospect of getting another one in his field and at his age. 

That is why my friend felt sorry for him.

But, he did not feel sorry to let him go! 

How do you translate that into Japanese?

Grounds for divorce

Adultery.  Is it grounds for divorce?  I am told that Europeans ridicule Americans for being so puritanical when spouses have extramarital affairs.  Men in Europe aren’t expected to be faithful to their wives.

A relative of mine was faced with that problem.  Should she end her marriage?  “Nope,” she said, “let him have his fun.”

Ew.  What if he transmitted a disease to her because of his numerous trysts?  And consider the embarrassment she had to endure when he openly flirted with other women.

But, the marriage lasted 25 years.  He died of emphysema and cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 50, leaving considerable wealth to his long-suffering wife.  She had played her cards right and won.  She went on to live very comfortably and died at age 80 without remarrying.

Is money worth the agony?  Well, I don’t know about you, but if David were to have an affair, I would most certainly divorce him.  More so, if he had NUMEROUS affairs!  Where there is no trust, there can be no happiness.  The marriage would be toxic, and I would end it.

Personal Touch Computers

Trumpet fish in the Ala Wai Harbor.  Photo by Ted Trimmer.

Have you ever built your own computer?  My sister-in-law Shirley has.  In fact, she built two computers from scratch for her children.  She has an engineering degree from MIT, so that helped.

As you know, David’s company computer died last week.  He decided to hire PTC (Personal Touch Computers) in Honolulu to build him a new one.  It cost $2,500.  For that price, he got 3 hard drives, 8 gigs of RAM, a Quad 4 processor, and a monitor.  Further, all of the software and data from the dead computer was transferred to the new one.  David also got AVG anti-virus  and Windows 7 included in the price.  Sounds like a great deal.  They were pretty fast; it took only 3 days.

While at Costco, he saw a Dell computer, home edition, for $900.  It includes 8 gigs of RAM and a monitor.  He told me to keep it in mind when I need a new computer.

Robbery, yogurt, football, and Pandora

Moon over the Ala Wai.  Photo by Ted Trimmer.

The Advertiser reported that two women were accosted by a man carrying a gun as they were getting into their cars.  He robbed one of the women; the article did not say why the other woman wasn’t.  These incidents occurred in the parking lot of shopping centers in Aiea and Pearl City just 30 minutes apart.  Awful.  We aren’t safe anywhere, are we?  Hope it doesn’t happen to me!

On another note, I thank those of you who recommended that I eat yogurt to ward off the unpleasant side-effects of taking an antibiotic for my sinus infection.  It works!  No need to rush to the bathroom every 15 minutes.  Of course, one dose doesn’t have any effect; I had to consume three more containers of yogurt before those “bathroom breaks” ended. What is it about yogurt that makes this possible?

David and I are looking forward to the Hawaii vs. Wisconsin football game, which starts at 6:30 pm today at Aloha Stadium.  It will be televised on ESPN-2.  Hawaii is a 12 point underdog.  We all will be ecstatic if Hawaii wins, as that will mean we will be on our way to the Hawaii Bowl to battle SMU.  That match-up would be fantastic.  Former UH coach June Jones now is the coach of SMU.  Need I say more?

If you haven’t already, do try Pandora.com to listen to music you choose to hear.  I’ve got David doing just that at his office.  Right now, I am tuned to folk music.  It’s very relaxing and mellow.

P.S.  Hawaii lost 51-10 to Wisconsin.  It was embarrassing, and Hawaii does not qualify for a bowl game.  SMU now faces Nevada in the Hawaii Bowl on Christmas Eve.   David thinks Nevada will smash SMU.  Of course, we will be rooting for SMU, because it is coached by June Jones, whom we like very much.

Meda Chesney-Lind

This is a photo of Meda Chesney-Lind and her husband, Ian Lind, taken at my blog party in October.  Meda was featured in an article in the December 4 issue of the Star-Bulletin, which discussed her involvement in women’s studies and criminology at the University of Hawaii.  Here’s the link to the article:

http://www.starbulletin.com/editorials/20091204_Meda_Chesney-Lind.html

This story is close to my heart for two reasons:  (1) My now-deceased brother spent 10 years in prison, first in Halawa and then in Oklahoma; and (2) I had a short-lived experience at Hale Kipa, working with runaway teenagers in the mid-1970s.

It takes a special person to deal with juvenile delinquents and adult prisoners.  I never had that gift, which entails being able to establish rapport and knowing how to guide them, although my BA at UH was in sociology.

Anyway, Meda has been called “the mother of feminist criminology,” so her focus is gender specific.  Do read the article, which contains an interesting interview.

Way to go, Meda!  I am proud of you.

A trip to the doctor

Dr. L examined me today and said I was wheezing and my lungs sounded “rough.”  He also said my right nostril was plugged.  No big surprise!

I am to apply Veramyst nasal spray to my nose as needed for congestion.  When that is pau (it was a sample), I am to purchase Afrin nasal spray over the counter and use as needed for congestion.  When I complained that the Allegra-D had not alleviated my congestion and asked if Claritin would be better, he said that Claritin is milder than Allegra.  If Allegra still does not work, he will inject me with a steroid.  I said, “No thanks.”

For my sinus infection, I am to take Cipro (left over from my cat bite ordeal).  He seemed peeved that Dr. P had prescribed so much of it, because having an over-supply of an antibiotic could lead to abuse.

I am to continue with Organidin for cough. 

Bottom line:  I am to rest and drink lots of fluids, and, he added, wash my hands frequently.  Not wanting to cough at my booksigning on Saturday, I canceled it.  I also called the hostess and expressed my regret at not being able to attend her party on Sunday.

And if I am still sick by Tuesday, I’ll cancel my dental appointment.

P.S.  The Advertiser ran my letter to the editor regarding UH athletics.  It is slightly different from the one the Star-Bulletin ran.  Here’s the link:  http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/20091204/OPINION02/912040371/1108

Why do I get so sick?

I seem to catch a very bad cold every 6-7 months.  Sinus congestion, sore throat, and cough.  Ugh.  Last night, I slept for three hours and then woke up because I couldn’t breathe.  Sitting on the sofa seemed to help.  Tonight, I won’t bother to go to bed; I’ll try to sleep sitting up again.

Why does this always happen to me?  David can’t understand it, either.  When he gets a cold, he is able to sleep in bed, and his cold seems minor, compared to mine.  “You’re not in contact with a lot of people.  Why do you get so sick?” he asked.

I don’t know.  This time, it probably started with Lisa when she had to cut class and sleep all day and night.  Within a few days, she was well.  I must have caught the bug from her.

This cold comes at a bad time for me, as I have a booksigning on Saturday in Kaimuki and a Christmas party on Sunday in Aina Haina to attend.  I hope I don’t have to cancel either or both.

Some people have recommended that I drink hot liquids, such as soup or tea.  But, I don’t care for hot beverages, preferring to drink ice coffee, ice water, and chilled juice, smoothies, and sodas.  When I eat saimin, I always eat just the noodles and discard the soup.  Crazy, huh?

Presently, I take Allegra-D for congestion, but it takes a while to kick in.  I have asked my doctor whether or not I should take an antibiotic for a possible sinus infection.  I still have cough medicine from my previous illness that I can also take.  I hope I don’t have to see the doctor in person.

Oh, please, God, please cure me by this weekend!

Ah, computers!

Photos by Ted Trimmer:

 

Aloiloi:  Note its “false eye.”

 

Peter surfing at Rockpile.

How long will your computer last?  From past experience, I think four years is the maximum lifespan for a personal computer.  A friend has had hers for four years, and she finds herself waiting forever for various programs to appear on her screen.  Imagine staring at the hour glass ad infinitum. 

David has had his company’s computer for four years.  Recently, it was attacked by malware.  He took it to a technician at the university, but the technician was able to fix only part of it.  David is going to order a new Dell online for around $700 with a friend’s special discount.  Not a bad price!  My PC is a Dell, also.

As for security, I like Microsoft Live One Care, which periodically updates its system to counter new viruses.  I consider it superior to Norton and McCaffey, and have had no problems with viruses so far.  I advised David to buy it for his new computer.

Lisa bought a Mac laptop computer, as the keyboard is wider and suits her better.  However, she occasionally needs to borrow my PC, because certain courses at the university require it.  There’s some incompatibility between the Mac and the PC, which is frustrating.

Ah, computers!  What would we do without them?

P.S.  My letter to the editor regarding UH athletics appeared in today’s Star-Bulletin on page 3.  http://www.starbulletin.com/editorials/letters/20091202_Letters_to_the_editor.html