Don’t quit your job!

scenic hawaii 006-A

Hawaiian seascape.

It is true that David saw the doctor for a sprained neck on Monday.  What I didn’t tell you was that he was also on the brink of resigning from his job as comptroller after his boss yelled and screamed at him last Thursday.  He debated whether he could go on like this, being the victim of obscene and vicious attacks.

He worked on his log, which detailed these attacks, and intended to show it to the unemployment office next week after he resigned so that he would qualify for benefits.

Then, my husband and I had a serious discussion.  I pointed out that many of his classmates and friends were still unemployed due to the economy and were forced to collect early Social Security benefits to survive.  If David resigned next Monday, what guarantee was there that he would find another job?  Further, there was no guarantee that his next job would last.

We decided that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  David called his boss and told him he was returning to work sooner than expected.  His boss cheerfully replied, “Okay!”

I advised David that if M ever upsets him again, he should simply take a few days off to cool off and recover – instead of quitting without thinking of the consequences.

Bottom line:  My husband likes being a comptroller.  He also likes his fellow co-workers.  Even M has his good points!

21 Responses to “Don’t quit your job!”

  1. Christine Says:

    You know Gigi I worked for a terrible boss for many years and it was the best thing I ever did to quit. My stress level went way down. In retrospect I should have asked for a transfer or something, as soon as I realized the situation. It just kept getting worse. However I see what you mean about the importance of a steady income.

    • gigihawaii Says:

      David is not old enough to qualify for Medicare. Also, unemployment or SS benefits would be less than his salary. Then there is the fact that he is no longer young enough to be appealing to a prospective employer.

  2. The Laughing Housewife Says:

    It is a difficult balance – stay, and hope the stress of working for a horrible boss doesn’t bring on a heart attack; or leave, and worry about employment.

    Does David’s company have a Human Resources department? Surely this boss is guilty of bullying?

  3. Suzanne Says:

    Such a tough situation! Good luck!

  4. DJan Says:

    Poor David! Unable to stop working for such a boss because of his fear of being unable to find another job. Couldn’t he look for work without telling his current boss? And then if he finds one, he could then quit. Just thinking about other possible solutions.

    • gigihawaii Says:

      The economy is so poor. There are so many accountants out there who would love to have David’s job, judging from the number of resumes and calls that the company receives each day. But, yes, David should try to find something better while still employed.

  5. Jeanie Says:

    It is a tough situation and I hope David can find a positive solution. His health and well being is most important, but it is also important that he has things in place financially before he makes a change.

  6. SchmidleysScribbling Says:

    Good grief. That boss sounds as if he has mental problems. Tell David to find a way to chill out when the guy erupts or he will have more than a strained neck. Dianne

  7. L...w Says:

    I don’t know if my advice would help David but I think he should discredit his boss’s words and actions altogether. Not put any stock good or bad. That’s the only way to work for someone so controlling. Create a thick bunker wall between his boss and himself. Even when accused or scolded he should dismiss what just happened. Which means even the good stuff goes…no accepting gifts like the dinner treat. Seems like the boss likes to butter than feel that he can push harder. Long ago we were tempted with a group medical insurance offer and joint ownership in a fixed upper with our broker that would have created major obligation but we declined. Sometimes it is better to have thick boundaries to maintain your independence from controlling people. Through the 15 year relationship with our broker he has continuously tried to “own” us…that’s the kind of person you have to try hardest not to be in bed with.

    • L...w Says:

      I forgot to mention the reason we take month long breaks from our work is to maintain our independence from our broker. That’s how it started almost 8 years ago.

  8. Lorna Says:

    Hello, this is my first post on your blog, although I read it religiously. “M” sounds like he’s bipolar; shrieking one day, and then gifting your husband with lavish dinner gift certificates the next. If your husband can view it from that perspective, that “M” is “loopy”, it may help him to cope with the work situation.

  9. Beatrice Says:

    What a boss! I would go, but still well done…. suppose David will survive. He knows he is stronger then his boss…
    no jobs available here, specially not for people above 40!
    Have a great Easter

  10. Henry Hank Chapin Says:

    Tough situation, that’s for sure. I have no idea what the long-run solution would be. But I believe it is true you shouldn’t quit a job without a backup plan. But it must take a toll on all concerned. I know of a lower-level situation where the employee said, in a calm manner, “Don’t talk to me that way,” and it worked. But the stakes weren’t as high.

  11. Linda Reeder Says:

    I agree that in this job market you keep the one you have. If the boss’s outbursts are frequent, David needs to wait a day for a cool down and then talk to his boss about them. What is behind them? Usually people act out when they are afraid or insecure.

  12. Musings Says:

    Poor David… I can’t even imagine how bad the stress level has to be and how harmful it could be on his health. If he can’t quit, I hope he can take vacation breaks regularly.

  13. Grannymar Says:

    It sounds like Mr M is a bully. Sometimes standing up to the bully (with other workers present, as witnesses) is enough to make the culprit back down. I hope the situation is resolved very soon. Has David talked to any of the other workers about it? Do they suffer too?

  14. LInda Starr Says:

    When his boss yells at him, he should excuse himself and say he’s having a sudden attack of diarrhea and should run to the bathroom.

  15. LC Says:

    I concur with Linda Reeder. If David can hold firmly to the reality that his bosses tirades result from the bosses’ own internal weaknesses, and not any shortcomings of David’s, he may be able to distance himself emotionally from the abuse and some of the stress.

  16. Denise Says:

    Oh dear Gigi, what an atrocious individual M can be. I think he must be one of those people who feels a high level of stress and his outlet is to scream at people. I had a boss like this once. He was as nice as pie after such an outburst. He got rid of his stress immediately but I carried mine around for the rest of the week, always waiting and wondering when the next outburst would be. When I left the job because I moved, it was like having a big heavy weight being lifted from my shoulders. There has been some sound advice here. Good luck David, hang in there!

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