Marriage is difficult!

plants 001-A

My neighbor’s orchids.

One recent afternoon, David came home and I started yelling at him.

Me:  “I am fed up cleaning up after you.  You left crumbs all over the table cloth, all over the carpet, and a trail on the kitchen floor.  I had to grab a sponge and clean the table cloth, vacuum the carpet under your chair, and sweep the kitchen floor.”

Him:  “I have a wife.”

Me:  “You know, I hate your attitude.  I am your wife, not your maid.”

Him:  “I meant that as a joke.”

Me:  “I don’t think it’s funny.  Tomorrow, I am going to withdraw all of my money from the bank, fly to Redondo Beach and stay with Suzanne.  I’ll stay there for a few weeks to chill.  When I get back, I am going to file for divorce, sell the house, and split the proceeds.”

Him:  “Look, I am sorry this happened, okay?  Next time, show me the crumbs, and I’ll clean it up.”

Me:  “Why can’t you see the mess you make?  Why do I have to show it to you?  Are you blind?  You are such a slob.”

Him:  “I’m sorry.  Anyway, if we sell the house, where are we going to live?  We can’t possibly find something this nice.  After all, we don’t have to pay a mortgage or rent.  This is the house we have always wanted.  Be reasonable.”

Me:  “Well, you have to stop being such a slob and clean up after yourself.  I am not your maid!”

Him:  “Okay.  I’m sorry.”

***

Case closed.  I am his eyes.  I show him the mess.  He cleans it.

Marriage is difficult.  Who said it wasn’t?

20 Responses to “Marriage is difficult!”

  1. granny annie Says:

    Whoa Gigi, that is TMI (Too much information). Gotta be another side to this tale of woe. Besides usually your blog is filled with praise of David. I agree that making a marriage work is the most difficult job in the world but certainly the most rewarding and I know that you know that too. I miss those bread crumbs:(

    • granny annie Says:

      Okay, it is obvious that as often as I have read your blog, I have not learned your true sense of humor and often take you too seriously. Now, as I read other comments, I understand your sarcasm and will try to be less taken in by your tales of trauma and woe:)

  2. Cathy Says:

    Somehow (well hopefully) I think you wrote this ‘tongue in cheek’ Gigi – or maybe on a bad day in the house. There are worse things that can go wrong in marriage apart from a few crumbs on the floor.

    After more than 50 years I tend to think marriage could be difficult. – thats if the two people having to share their lives and live in agreement with each other don’t work at it.

    Ours hasn’t been a bed of roses – The Golfer likes to give his Irish sweetheart breakfast in bed (tea and toast) and breadcrumbs in the bed are a pain. I’d miss that too!

  3. Olga Says:

    Well, I laughed until I cried. Now you just march yourself to where ever David happens to be and give a hug in gratitude that he is still around to drop crumbs on the floor.

  4. L....w Says:

    David’s got a point….your fates are sealed the day you signed the reverse mortgage i(n a perverse sort of way….) I’m just saying 🙂

    • L....w Says:

      Sorry if it sounds offending….I meant (looking at it in a perverse way), not that what you have done is perverse. Of course now I have balls and chains stuck in my mind….oops

      • gigihawaii Says:

        We still have equity in this house — $250,000 – $300,000 — despite the reverse mortgage. Of course, that is not enough to buy a decent place to live in Hawaii. I would need to move to the mainland, where housing is less expensive.

      • L...w Says:

        I won’t disagree that there is equity despite the reverse mortgage. I may be wrong but due to your loan rate at 5% fixed (was it?), I think it makes better sense to live where you are as long as possible, otherwise the loan would be due (at the same time you need to find other living arrangements like David said or like any short term asset buying timing the market becomes more of an issue). Of course if the market continues to do very well as it has, asset inflation may outpace the 5% loan rate. If mortgage rates stay reasonable, it may just happen in your favor.

  5. gigihawaii Says:

    Yeah, all is calm and peaceful in gigi’s household — until the next blow up.

  6. DJan Says:

    Nobody ever said living with another person would be easy. It’s hard all the time. We had a dust-up yesterday, too, but I am so very glad to have my husband in my life. Nothing would be worse than to lose him. It does sound a bit like an overreaction to me, Gigi. I hope you write soon about how you made up. Please?

    • gigihawaii Says:

      Oh, I know what you mean. Of course, I would miss my husband if he were gone for good. But, like my grandson, David needs to learn how to pick up and clean up after himself. If 4 year old Rylan can do it, why can’t 65 year old David?

  7. SchmidleysScribbling Says:

    You are so funny. I don’t threaten divorce anymore. I just remind him that the Old Folks house is awaiting him. He’s much better. I figure I’ll have him trained about the time one of us dies.

    I was married to Felix the Marine, Felix the soldier now Oscar the opposite. Believe me it’s easier to live with a slob…did I say that!

    Felix& Oscar =the Odd Couple?

  8. Tom Sightings Says:

    Gigi, I feel your pain, for it’s not the case that it’s the man that’s always the slob. My father cleaned up after my mother for 60 years (really, I’m not kidding here) … it never bothered him. I cleaned up after my first wife for 30 years before we finally split up (yes, it was a factor, but not one of the main ones). Now I clean up after B. But it doesn’t bother me. It’s my job. And she has plenty of wonderful qualities, other than neatness, that I appreciate and love.

  9. Joanne Says:

    You’ll always be showing him the crumbs. Good he doesn’t ignore them.

  10. dkzody Says:

    I’m assuming, like us, you & David have been married a very long time. Crumbs are small complaints, but perhaps the tip of something else that is bothering you. The small faults I know and can handle; the larger ones? Well, sometimes those can make me want to run away, screaming. That’s when we have to sit down and talk. Through it all, though, you do have to laugh.

  11. Beatrice P. Boyd Says:

    As you can see by the comments, Gigi, marriage can be challenging at times and Pat (Grenville) and myself also have our differences and disagreements. But, we have 2 small signs in our bedroom, which may seem trite, but which we follow: never go to bed angry and the best one…always kiss me goodnight. Glad that you and David received a compromise.

  12. Beatrice P. Boyd Says:

    Whoops meant to say…reached a compromise

  13. Linda Reeder Says:

    David is a saint. A messy one perhaps, but a saint.

  14. marmeladegypsy Says:

    They don’t close the cupboard doors, either. I’m just sayin’…

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