Age in place and die at home

5-31-10-plumeria at Hilton Hwn Vill-A

Hawaii:  Plumeria

I was talking to my friend, Sharon, about her elderly parents and their caregiver. Sharon paid the caregiver $5,000 per month plus free room and board to take care of her parents 24/7.  That amounted to $2,500 per parent.  A bargain I would say.

Sharon would visit and watch the caregiver cook and puree the food, put the food in a tube, and squirt the food into her mother’s mouth. Her mother had Alzheimer’s Disease and could not feed herself.  Her father was also disabled.

The caregiver bathed and dressed both parents, did the laundry, made the three beds, cleaned the house, and gave medications. She also spent time playing puzzle games with the parents.

This was 100% care, and the caregiver was not allowed to have a side business.

Sharon’s mother died, and her father died several months later.

The caregiver left, and the house was sold.

I would want this type of care for David and me. There is nothing better than to age in place and die in your own home.

10 Responses to “Age in place and die at home”

  1. Olga Says:

    One person did all that 24/7? I am not that dedicated to staying in my home til the end. My family can do what seems the best for them. If it is a nursing home that is fine, but I do hope they would make sure it is clean and safe.

  2. anonymousonthemainland! Says:

    No wonder nursing homes cost an arm and a leg in the states and I am sure Hawaii tooooo..It is wonderful to be able to live in a home but if one cannot afford that amount of money what is one to do..My MIL stayed in a rented place, her social security checks and her sons ssi and his income from actually working footed the bill, but she forgot to cook and clean and it fell upon us to do a lot, I got to the point I was to hire someone as I just did not have the strength and she complained a lot while I was there I threw out tons of garbage and her smoking and complaining got to me, she passed from this earth after turkey day and near Christmas her family I am sure was greatly relieved as she had 8 kids and we were the only ones who did anything, we have never heard much from any of them since that day in December when we buried her it was snowing and our only had just graduated from college the day before she passed! aloha!

  3. Tom Sightings Says:

    My mom and dad stayed at home until the bitter end (with some help in the last few months), and it worked out for them. But B’s parents went into independent living, and now her mom is in assisted living … and that worked for them. So I think it’s really a matter of the conditions, as well as personal preference. P.S. I want to stay at home; B wants to go into assisted living. Go figure.

  4. Christine Says:

    this is ideal if you can afford it, a good use of savings.

  5. Linda Starr Says:

    few can afford those costs, I took care of my father in law in our home for seven years and didn’t get paid but his income contributed to our bottom line.

  6. DJan Says:

    My parents both conveniently died before they turned seventy. Heart disease took them both and nobody in my family has ever lived long enough to have to worry about long-term care. I want to die in my own bed, too. 🙂

  7. DeniseinVA Says:

    This takes a lot of the stress away as worrying about elderly parents is so hard, and they are always happier at home.

  8. dkzody Says:

    My dad worked the day he died. That’s the way I would like to go, too. My mother, on the other hand, lived to be 86 and spent the last month in a convalescent home due to a severe stroke. In 2000 that care cost $5,000 a month. I’m sure it’s much more now.

  9. Beatrice Says:

    It was always my mother’s stated desire that she live and die in her own home, despite my brother and I feeling she should live elsewhere. She did have assistance during the day for several years before she died in late 2014. Ironically, she had just been released from a hospital stay and taken home by my brother, when she collapsed in her own home. She was again hospitalized and officially that was listed as the place of death, but we know she got her wish and indeed died in her own home.
    If that is your wish, Gigi, then hopefully you will have it realized as well…just not too soon.

  10. SchmidleysScribblins Says:

    I don’t know what will happen to us. David says we will stay here until the end. Perhaps he is correct.

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