My second-best decision

David and me on our wedding day, June 28, 1980.

Two of my sisters are divorced and have never remarried. My sister-in-law is a widow as is my mother. That leaves my other sister, Sylvia, and me as the only ones in the family who still have husbands. It’s hard to believe, but in June, David and I will have been married 30 years!

I had always believed that marriage was forever, which is why in my life B.D. (Before David), I was hesitant to commit myself to any one man, not even cohabitating with them. Why live together when you can get married, I asked myself. What would be the point of settling down with a guy without the legal benefits of marriage? So I flitted from man to man.

Until I got pregnant and gave birth out of wedlock. That changed everything. All of a sudden, I was responsible for another human being. I went on welfare as a single mother. And started thinking of finding a husband who would want to be a father to my child. My ex-boyfriend hadn’t lifted a finger to help me during my pregnancy, and he certainly wasn’t about to marry me after my pregnancy. What a coward he was. And, he called himself a physician, a healer of the sick? What a joke! (Yes, he was a doctor.)

So, I telephoned David, a guy I had dated previously but never was serious with, and he took me to a movie. One thing led to another, and we got engaged. We married a year later. After several months, he legally adopted my daughter, who had just turned two years old, and we became a true family unit. I was 34 and he was 31.

The best decision I have made in my life was to keep my child. My second-best decision was to marry David. In terms of personality and depth of character, he is the greatest man I have ever known. Not even my father and brother come close. Besides having integrity, David is very kind and soft-hearted. He will always be there for me and our children. He has provided the stability and security I craved.

Thirty years down, thirty more to go!

It’s only money…

Photo by Ted Trimmer: Waikiki fireworks.

WordPress has allotted 3GB of space for my images for free. Presently, I have 2.8GB (92%) left. When I run out of space, I’ll have to buy 5GB more for $19.97 PER YEAR!!! When you consider that Blogspot charges only $5 per year, WordPress’s charge seems exorbitant. For this reason, I will reduce the size of my images prior to downloading them to my blog. That might extend the life of my free space. However, that won’t be possible on my netbook, as I am unable to use PhotoShop on it (insufficient memory). I sure hope my Hong Kong pictures don’t take too much space.

Oh, well, it’s only money.

Which brings me to Social Security and when David should start collecting it.

If he collects at age 62 (next year), he will get $1,500+.

If he collects at age 66, he will get $2,100+.

But, if he collects at age 70, he will get $2,900+.

This is all contingent on his continuing to make last year’s income. As his salary increases, his Social Security benefits likewise will increase.

Common sense would tell you that the benefit at age 70 would be preferable. However, David says that if he waited til age 70, he might end up with nothing if he were to die between age 66 and age 70.

Trouble is Social Security is supposed to be depleted by the time David reaches 91 if he lives that long. Wouldn’t it be better to get as much money as possible earlier, say at age 66? He might very well do that. He might collect at age 66 and continue to work til age 70.

As for me, I am 64 and am collecting Social Security, which certainly helps our cash flow. It’s nice that the government is paying me to stay home.

High finance!

Uplifting movies

Photo by Ted Trimmer: Mangos.

I don’t watch as many movies as I used to, and my taste in movies has drastically changed over the years.

During my twenties, I enjoyed Ingmar Bergman’s films. He was a Swedish director, writer, and producer, whose favorite themes were death, despair, betrayal and insanity. I loved seeing Max von Sydow and Liv Ullmann play their tortured roles.

Hmmm. Call that entertainment? Pretty heavy stuff, if you ask me!

Then, I went through my Woody Allen phase. I laughed uncontrollably during “Annie Hall.” David, however, jeered when Woody wore his glasses during a love scene in another movie. “Who the hell wears his glasses in bed,” my husband asked, with disdain.

Nowadays, I prefer feel-good movies that are based on a true story with a happy ending. Just last Sunday, David and I watched “The Blind Side,” starring Sandra Bullock, who won an Oscar for her role in that film. I came away from that movie feeling uplifted and happy.

There is so much sadness and despair in this world, why add to it? I like movies that make me forget my problems, not exacerbate them.

How about you? What sort of movies do you enjoy?

Purging my blog

Photo by Ted Trimmer: Moon over the Ala Wai.

Recently, I heard that Harvard had denied admission to an applicant because of what was found in his Facebook. I don’t know what the offensive post was about. However, I have decided to watch what I write about family members, particularly my husband and kids. I stayed up til 1 a.m. last night, purging my blog, so if you don’t see certain posts and your comments on them, that’s the reason.

Oh, well, so what else is new?

I am concerned about what the future holds for my friends, Burl Burlingame and Mary Poole, who are writers, employed by the Honolulu Star-Bulletin. Since there were no qualified bidders for the purchase of the newspaper, the Bulletin will merge with the Honolulu Advertiser and become the Star-Advertiser. Hundreds of jobs will be cut as a result. Good luck and best wishes to Burl and Mary!

Every time I think about our trip to Hong Kong next week, my hands tingle. I feel so anxious. I just hope there are no screw-ups and we enjoy our trip. You can tell I haven’t traveled that much lately. Hard to believe I circled the globe all by myself when I was in my twenties. My most recent trip happened two years ago when we traveled to Tokyo. It was a flawless trip. Simply wonderful. Hopefully, Hong Kong will be just as nice.

How do you spend your time?

Photo by Ted Trimmer: Ala Wai Harbor.

One of the things I love about blogs is reading about the ways people spend their time. It’s fascinating.

Here’s a rundown on various bloggers who have full-time, paying jobs and still find the time to blog about their hobbies and interests (see my Blogroll to click on their sites):

Aku works in the hotel industry in Waikiki. In his spare time, he enjoys dining out. Not only does he get fed, but he also has published a book about these restaurants. He plans to publish new editions, because the restaurant scene is constantly changing: Old ones close, while new ones open.

Brit Gal Sarah is a secretary at an elementary school in Oklahoma. Married to an American, she takes classes in photography and has learned to use her camera in many unique ways. The photos she posts are stunning.

Burl Burlingame is a newspaper reporter (“Honolulu Star-Bulletin”), who likes to build small models of military tanks and airplanes that he sells to museums. He also is a part-time docent at the Pacific Aviation Museum in Pearl Harbor.

Kaui Hart Hemmings is a Hawaii-based writer, whose first novel, “The Descendants,” is currently being made into a Hollywood movie, starring George Clooney. Read her blog for details about her bikini wax.

Kavita is a dentist in India. She blogs about cultural happenings in her part of the world.

LizKauai works for a private company on Kauai, and spends time cheering for the UH football Warriors at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu and for the Washington Redskins (Go, Colt Brennan). Read her blog for details about her grandson’s birth in a tub of water in Oregon.

Quilly works for Avon and also gets paid to write about certain products, books, and businesses on her blog. Besides the latter, her lively posts deal with life in the Pacific Northwest, where she now resides after spending a few years in Hawaii.

Rahna Reiko Rizzuto is a writer and college teacher of creative writing. Her first novel, “Why She Left Us,” won a national award. Her next novel, “Hiroshima in the Morning,” is due out in September. She blogs about happenings in New York City, where she lives. By the way, she was born and raised in Hawaii.

RonW is a carpenter, who blogs about life in Waikiki. He has a unique perspective as he resides there.

Sherri lives and works in North Carolina. Among other things, she blogs about her jewelry and handbag creations, which she sells online.

Thom is a bus driver in Honolulu and, usually, his blog is full of memes, which require reader participation. He recently returned from a trip to the Pacific Northwest and might travel to the mainland again this year.

Finally, Tokyo Five is an American expat in Tokyo, who blogs about cultural events there as well as his favorite rock band, KISS. He derived his name from his family of five, which includes him, his Japanese wife, and their three young daughters.

And there you have it: People with full-time, paying jobs, who still find the time to blog about their hobbies and interests.

Curfew for a husband

Photo by Ted Trimmer: Ala Moana Beach Park

I saw a disturbing news segment tonight on ABC-TV. A man in New York came to a woman’s aid and was stabbed by her assailant. Both woman and assailant fled. The Good Samaritan lay on the sidewalk for an hour while 20 people passed by without assisting him. One man turned the victim over, but when he saw blood, he left. Finally, the police and ambulance arrived, but the man had already died. All of this was caught on video.

The same TV segment showed a teenage girl being assaulted on a sidewalk in Seattle, while four security guards watched. The segment finally showed an elderly man being hit by a car and left on the street while other vehicles passed.

My God! What is this world coming to?

Before he left for the gym, I told David I want him home by 8 p.m. tonight. Although there are a lot of people and security guards in the parking lot, Hawaii is not as safe as it used to be. David is 6’1” tall and husky, but that does not mean two men can’t accost him with guns or knives and kill him.

“You are being ridiculous,” my husband said. “I am not a child. Why don’t you have a curfew for Lisa?”

“David,” I replied, “Lisa is 28 and has a mind of her own. Besides, she is not my spouse, life companion, and confidante. Sure, I’ll be a rich widow should you die. But, who will hold my hand while I watch the NBA playoffs?”

The good thing about my husband is that he listens to me. He watched the same news segment, and he understands how nervous it made me.

P.S. David came home at 8 p.m. tonight. Yay!

Things could be a lot worse!

David has discovered the cure for tendonitis: The hot tub at the gym. He’s been soaking his body five nights a week and it’s great! Before his discovery, he would ascend and descend the stairs at work by favoring one leg. Now, he can use both legs without difficulty. His knee is cured! So, if you, too, have painful joints, do try soaking in a hot tub. David wishes his doctor had recommended it instead of physical therapy, which did not help.

Lately, my husband has been hiring part-time, temporary accounting clerks from an employment agency. He wondered why they were so fast and efficient, better than the other clerks in the office. Turns out that two of them are CPAs, who resigned from their jobs at CPA firms on the mainland because of burn-out. Imagine, CPAs looking for work! Despite friction at the office, David is grateful he has a full-time, permanent job. Now is not the time to quit.

Hang in there, David! Every occupation has its pros and cons. Just be glad you are not a physician being sued for malpractice! See, I told you things could be a lot worse for you!

Julia’s PSAs

This is my granddaughter Julia on her 2nd birthday.

Oh, how I wish Maria would let me post a link to her blog, which is restricted to family only.  Yesterday, she posted three darling videos of Julia (age 2 years, 5 months) making public service announcements:

PSA #1:  “Hi, I have a message for you.  Brush your teeth twice a day to keep the cavities away.  Bye.  (waves and laughs)”

PSA #2:  “Hi, I have a message for you.  Did you know that strawberries have about 200 seeds?  (eats a strawberry)  Mmmm.  Bye.  (waves)”

PSA #3:  “Hi, I have a message for you.  (coughs twice)  Cover your mouth whenever you cough.  (coughs twice)  Til next time!  (waves)”

HILARIOUS!!!  I must have watched those videos a hundred times.  They made me laugh each time.

As she matures, I hope Julia will retain her cute ways.  I think Maria and Grant are very good parents, who speak to their children in complete sentences, eschewing “baby talk.”  Could a career in broadcasting be in Julia’s future?  Just asking!

What were you or your kids like at that age (2 years, 5 months)?  Mom told me I didn’t start talking until I was three!

Worried about Hong Kong

We are leaving for Hong Kong on May 6 and will be gone a week.  I am worried about the late arrival (10 pm) and our possibly missing the shuttle ride to the hotel.  Darn, I wish I had booked an earlier flight.  I can’t change the tickets now without incurring a stiff penalty.  This is one of the reasons why we are not checking in luggage.  The baggage claim would take too long.  The line for Customs will be bad enough.

Since there are so many TSA restrictions as to what one can transport in carry-on bags, I hope the hotel provides shampoo and skin lotion in the bathroom.  David bought two small tubes of toothpaste from Walmart which, at 3.0 oz, are below the TSA size limit (3.4 oz).  Too bad he had to buy Colgate, as there was no Aquafresh.

Is the tap water in Hong Kong okay to drink or brush our teeth with?

By the way, Wi-Fi at the hotel is not free.  We will have to pay about US$47 for a one-week period.  David considers that expensive, but I think it is a nominal price to pay and is affordable.  I just hope we get a strong connection.

I am going to make copies of our passports, tickets, and vouchers in case the originals are stolen.  Is Hong Kong safe for tourists?

Long term care

Hau bush and palm:  Photo by Ted Trimmer.

Now  that we are in our sixties, David and I have been discussing long term care insurance.  He said it is extremely expensive.  John Hancock’s monthly premium is $490 for $10,000 per month care for a maximum of four years.  That sounds outrageous.

“Why do you need $10,000 per month?” I asked.  “My friend J has insurance that pays $120 per day for his wife and $160 per day for himself.  That amounts to less than $5,000 per month.”

Presently, J’s wife, who has Alzheimer’s, is being cared for at home by J and receives part-time aid from a visiting nurse.  I guess that’s when the $120 per day kicks in.

How do other people manage?  My mother, who is 94, has dementia (but not Alzheimer’s).  My sister is her caregiver.  Starting May, Mom will be going to day care three times a week.  The cost is not that prohibitive.  She is still able to groom and feed herself, recognize her children, and carry on a conversation (although she tends to be repetitious).  She does not have long term care insurance.

When my friend D was dying from ALS, he received help from a visiting nurse through HMSA.  I think his monthly premium paid for it.  He did not have long term care insurance, either, and died a year after diagnosis.

There’s also Hospice Hawaii, but I don’t know how much they charge.

Have you thought of long term care insurance, or are you “too young” to worry about such things?!