Being independent

How in the world do parents support their college age children these days?  Some take out a second mortgage; others work extra jobs.  That would really be difficult for David and me.  I am glad that our kids don’t depend on us for financial assistance.  And, yes, they buy their own cars and pay for school and almost everything else.

I, myself, worked my way through college.  I won a four-year scholarship and held a 20-hour per week campus job as a clerk in the psychology department as well as worked weekends at a bakery.  My parents didn’t help me, but I managed to graduate in four years.  In the process, I learned to be self-reliant and independent, two traits that enabled me to travel around the world all by myself.  To this day, my mother is amazed that I found work as an English teacher in Thailand without first acquiring the position prior to departure from Hawaii.  That took a lot of guts, but I did it.  After that experience, I felt I could do practically anything if I set my mind to it.

Currently, my life is very easy.  I am retired and am never stressed out.  I feel sorry for David, because he is too young to qualify for Social Security.  Unfortunately, there are days when he is so exhausted from work that he wants to quit.  On other days, he says he loves his job and will retire when he is 70 or even 80.

How about you?  Are your children independent?  When do you plan to retire?  If you are already retired, how do you spend your time?

9 Responses to “Being independent”

  1. kavita saharia Says:

    Hmmmm not a question meant for me…….your life is amazingly inspirational,would love to know a lot more.Here in India parents support their kids till marriage and in few cases even after that…..gets hard for them at times.

  2. Musings Says:

    We supported our two kids throughout their college lives, but they’re very independent now…especially our son.

    What do we do now? We’re working on finishing our house. It’s like an all consuming necessary hobby but it requires a LOT of our time because there’s so much to do. When that’s done in the next 3 years or so, we’ll have to look into something to do. I’m not sure what yet.

  3. LizKauai Says:

    I like interdependence.
    Parents help kids and kids help parents.
    Friends help friends.
    Strangers help strangers and become friends.

    The world becomes a kinder place to live.

  4. pocho Says:

    gigi you did a good job in rasing your kids as they are self sufficient. I don’t want to call it lucky because you put in your time in raising, mentoring, etc. them, as there’s alot of kids who’s on the wrong track. Nowadays parents spoil their kids trying to keep them happy with whatever they want and having 2 jobs to do it.

    Although my son still lives at home, he’s self sufficient and can survive in this world on his own.

    I may be pressured to retire soon due to health reasons and am not prepared for it financially, I know I will be a burden to my family if I don’t kick the buket quickly once I’m down. I’d work till I can’t perform my duties. Watching my mom who’s been retired for 18 years and having demensia is sickening to say the least. I can’t imagine myself sitting/lying watching tv all day long, not knowing what day it is, not doing the personal hygiene thing for weeks, hallucinating events, misplacing your auto, leaving things undone, etc. . I just can’t imagine that. OH MY you got me started, hahahahaha

  5. Quilly Says:

    Unemployed isn’t quite the same as retired is it? And as to how I spend my time – -the last couple of days I spent it script writing, filming, and editing a video post of my blog. I am thinking of making them regular features.

  6. gigihawaii Says:

    Mahalo for your comments, folks, much appreciated.

    Pocho, if you retire early, do apply for Social Security Disability benefits. No matter how small, the money will come in handy. Good luck!

  7. gigihawaii Says:

    Quilly, it’s good you are keeping busy and being creative. Maybe, this will lead to a full time position with a TV station. You could be a video assistant at Olelo TV, for instance. In fact, why don’t you apply there?

  8. Joy Says:

    My son had scholarships, grants, work study, and loans for college. He went to an expensive prestigious liberal arts university, so that was necessary. His father paid the rest and could easily afford it. I sent spending money that he needed. My son had summer jobs, too. He finished in four years and has been on his own ever since. Now he’s married with a son and has always been responsible, mature, and never got in trouble.

    I believe in doing whatever you can because education is an investment in your children and provides them with more options. We need to do whatever we can to help them become independent citizens. I guess it depends on the values people have and what works for them. What you did worked for you and your children, Gigi.

    I’ve been retired for four years and work part-time now and then. Mostly I read, watch TV, visit with friends, travel, blog, and whatever I want to do. I love it!

  9. gigihawaii Says:

    Joy, BRAVO to your son as he has turned out well. Isn’t that what we all want for our children? I am glad you are enjoying your retirement.

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